October 2011
76 posts
OH MY GOD
Me: Did you buttdial me?
D: You butt dialed me lolol
Me: You called me during class so I called you lol
D: I'll butt dial you later!
When you make an epic joke and everyone starts...
Click here if you’re awkward!
Checking out your progress after a hard workout at... →
Expectation:
Reality:
:( sad truth
Watchjayyra:
dis bitch craves the cock bad
“later, im gonna masturbate, and im gonna think about you, and there aint nothing you can do about it”
I'm a Holiday Virgin.
curiouskitty:
imgonnamakeachange:
light-meets-the-dark:
crystalsprinkles:
Never had a New Year’s Kiss.
Never had a Valentine Kiss.
Never spent time with someone on Valentine’s Day.
Never had a Valentine.
Never had a kiss under the mistletoe.
Never been taken out during Christmas.
forever aloneee<3
i’m just a virgin in general lulz
I’m a virgin for everything. Haven’t even...
What do you call a laptop that can sing?
thewisepickle:
A Dell.
We all have that friend who we can't be serious...
most-awkward-moments:
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That Moment When The Substitute Teacher Says Your... →
most-awkward-moments:
The Class Is Like…
You’re like….
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thanks… ding..
Don't you hate when... →
Whenever you’re talking to your crush, & your friends are just sitting there looking at you like :
& You keep giving them the death stare like :
And your crush is just like :
50 Things You Need To Give Up Today →
Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.
Give up complaining. –...
An atheist professor of Philosophy was speaking to...
Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
The student is Albert Einstein...
BLLARRRRAAPPPP!!!!
hayqurlhay asked: So um like um I hear theres a video and like um SO I HEARD SHE SAID YES am I talking about the right thing or am I not making sense or....Dude.
When someone you don't like touches you →
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HAHAHA
I don't like talking about myself.
Figure it out yourself.
Anonymous asked: plz post the video
School Picture: →
As I see me:
As my friends see me:
As my mother sees me:
I wonder if anyone is secretly in love with me.
most-awkward-moments:
LOL. next joke.
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When your mom asks you to clean.
How she thinks you would clean:
But in reality you clean like:
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Someone is flirting with the person I like
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I don't want a relationship where people say "They...
Reblog if you're the retarded friend
most-awkward-moments:
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If sex with 3 people is called a threesome, and...
breatheashleybreatheagain:
LOL
